


Fan Club Poetry

by Galadriel



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Fan Club, Gen, Limericks, Metatexual, Parody, Poetry, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-23
Updated: 2002-03-19
Packaged: 2017-12-22 19:39:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/917281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galadriel/pseuds/Galadriel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Silliness written on the spur of the moment for Old Gaffer's Mailbox Party on the Rivendell Message Board at the Lord of the Rings Official Fan Club.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Please, Mr. Gaffer

**Author's Note:**

> The original song, "Please Mr. Postman," is property of W. Garrett, B. Holland, F. Gorman, G. Dobbins and R. Bateman.
> 
> "Old Gaffer" is not only a character in _The Lord of the Rings_ , he is also a user on the Fan Club boards, as is his Mailbox (yes, you read that right).
> 
> The Mailbox Party went on for a long time as users camped out on Gaffer's front lawn, waiting for the arrival of the Charter Membership packages. It kept everyone's spirits up amid delays and Post Office problems. The packages were to contain a set of limited edition lithographs (the number depending on how many years you had joined for), the Fan Club magazine, a welcome letter from Peter Jackson, and a membership card. Most of those packages have made their way to their owners, and the Regular Memberships are now being shipped. Gaffer's Party has not ended with the arrival of the packages, however, but has become "Old Gaffer's Garden," a place where fans can gather to wait for future deliveries, celebrate events, and generally hang out.
> 
> "Decipher" is the company that runs the Official Fan Club, and "Justin" (or "Juz") is the Director of Fan Club Services.
> 
>  
> 
> _**Aug. 8, 2013:** A set of two poems (one a song parody), written during the height of the Official LotR Fan Club, and uploaded here for completeness' sake._

(Stop.)

Oh yes, wait a minute, dear Old Gaffer.  
(Wait.)  
Wait, our Old Gaffer.

Please, Mister Gaffer, look and see  
(Oh, yeah.)  
If there's a package in the box for me.  
(Please, Please, Mister Gaffer.)  
Why's it takin' such a long time  
(Oh, yeah.)  
For me to hear from that Fan Club of mine?

There must be some word today  
From Decipher so far away.  
Please, dear Old Gaffer, look and see  
If there's a package, a litho for me.

We've been camped out here waitin' with you, Gaffer  
So patiently  
For just a ‘zine, or just a letter  
To say a litho's comin' home to me.

(Dear Old Gaffer.)  
Our Old Gaffer, look and see  
(Oh, yeah.)  
If there's a package in the box for me.  
(Please, Please, Mister Gaffer.)  
Why's it takin' such a long time  
(Oh, yeah.)  
For me to hear from that Fan Club of mine?

So many days the Post passed us by.  
See the tears standin' in our eyes?  
Justin stopped to make us feel better,  
'Though we're still waiting for that welcome letter.

(Dear Old Gaffer.)  
Our Old Gaffer, look and see  
(Oh, yeah.)  
If there's a package in the box for me.  
(Please, Please, Mister Gaffer.)  
Why's it takin' such a long time?

(Why don't you check it and see one more time for me? You gotta --)  
Wait a minute,  
Wait a minute.  
Wait a minute,  
Wait a minute.  
(Dear Old Gaffer.)  
Our Old Gaffer, look and see.

(Decipher, deliver the letter, the sooner the better.)  
...Mister Gaffer...


	2. Why We Love Juz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A silly limerick tribute to Juz, written on the spur of the moment on the Rivendell Message Board at the Lord of the Rings Official Fan Club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Justin" (or "Juz") is the Director of Fan Club Services for the LotR Fan Club. He puts up with a lot of grief at times, yet he keeps his good humour and does an admirable job of keeping us all in the loop.
> 
> _**Aug. 8, 2013:** A set of two poems (one a song parody), written during the height of the Official LotR Fan Club, and uploaded here for completeness' sake._

There was a Director named Justin,  
Who looked after fans that were fussin'.  
Some grumbled and spit,  
But all loved him to bits,  
'Cause he kept the updates a comin'!


End file.
